


Six little Sparks

by ValorousOwl



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell, Alternate Universe - Underswap, Dadster/Dadsby, Domestic Undertale, Elemental Magic, Gastby, Gen, Grillby IS the father, Grillster, M/M, Mixed Heritage, Spoilers - Undertale Pacifist Route, Underfell Papyrus, Underfell Sans, Underswap Papyrus, Underswap Sans, Vignette, anon promt - One of the boys takes after their other parent, both both do, from rp/fanfic universe, requested shorts, some canon stretching, some ocs mentioned - Freeform, underfell grillby mentioned, underswap Grillby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-08
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-07-22 07:11:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7425106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ValorousOwl/pseuds/ValorousOwl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Golly! Look at all of this lovely fluff! It would be just too bad if either of the bone bros should happen to have some kind of..Problem. Starting now one of them will start showing traits of their less obvious parent. But will they say anything?" </p><p>The answer is both. Both is good.<br/>A few vignettes of three sets of brothers dealing with keeping the side effects of their mixed heritage a secret from their parents until the last minute.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fired up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as per the norm see the end for more notes on the Heritage and stuff. I feel like at this point I should just write a separate essay on it to be less confusing.

It’s been two years since his Father’s reappearance. A full year of nothing bad happening since the INCIDENT, a year since all of their siblings and adopted child have all settled in and a good three months since Century has quit his job. Sans been cautiously optimistic that nothing is going to go wrong this time. 

He wakes to scorches on his pillowcases and ash on his sheets. He washes them silently before anyone wakes and calls it good. It’s nothing to worry about. he’s still scared that if he hasn’t gotten any elemental powers until now, the subconscious accidental bed wrecking kind, it means he isn’t supposed to have them and he can’t control them. He doesn’t want to be the problem du jour this time around. 

He knows Grillby is suspicious of his sneaking around. He knows he is worried. He’s scared to lose the baby he held dying on his first day of life. He’s scared that the tentative peace of their home will be shattered by tragedy again. Like father like son, Sans muses.

It’s getting harder though. he can feel the heat of something he’s never known burning inside his ribs, he can feel a warmth he’s never known and longs to hold spreading through his bones and pounding in his head waiting to be let out. Will it consume him? will it break him? Will he become even more like his never seen grandmother? A beautiful porcelain smooth doll? Will he become nothing but ash? Will he burn like the stars he loves so much. 

On the worst nights he lays outside in the cool, dewy grass and lets the water sink into his bones and pores and hisses with how UNNATURAL it feels now. It stings and hurts and he is not having a good time. 

Better than to burn. Until one morning he wakes late and finds his vision warped worse than his usual eye problems inherited from his reticent parent. He feels good though, calm and almost at ease despite the fact everything is shimmering and vaguely blu…er….

Papyrus shrieks out in the distance. Panicked and afraid. there’s a vague sound of someone hitting the ground in another room. Running steps.

He wants to run and hide but a shout of alarm stops him and has him instead springing from the bed to find the source. He ducks into the hall just in time to see his fathers standing there, Grillby delivering a Fireman’s kick to the door handle of the locked bathroom door and busting the lock. Another Shout from Papyrus as the door bangs open and the three rush in to save him in the small space. 

softly, Gaster mutters that he "could just as easily have come up with a skeleton key.” but there wasn’t time.

The three stand before the naked Papyrus, he sits in the shower, legs drawn to his chest as the hot oil washes over him and down the drain. The flames flicker over his form in the same common Orange-gold of their father. 

“I… I DON’T KNOW WHAT I DID… I’M ON FIRE…” Papyrus murmurs looking up at them with a lost and confused expression. “I DIDN’T DO THIS ON PURPOSE AND SANS! HE’S ON FIRE TOO!”

He makes a face. “I BURNT MY CLOTHES AND THIS ISN’T HELPING.” 

Where the orange light of him and their father mingles with the blue-white of Sans own it makes the small space blindingly bright. Sans finally understands that he isn’t sick or dying. Just growing up a little. 

“Well, I’ll be damned, you were right, I just didn’t think they’d develop at the same time,” Gaster whistled. 

Grillby sighs in relief. “thank goodness,” 

“So uh, looks like we were all fired up over nothing.” Sans tries to defuse the situation. 

“SANS! NOT NOW,” Papyrus groaned but behind his hands he’s grinning. 

“Aw, no need to feel so put out bro.” Sans counters. Papyrus just shrieks again and throws the oil laden bath pouf at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll keep it brief. For the sake of the universe Gaster is mixed himself, his Father was a Skeleton but his mother was a similar species known as a Bone-China Ball joint doll. Bone china is usually pottery made from fired cow or other animal bones though some legends/rumours say certain people in history have made them from Human bones. (yes like in Kuroshitsuji.)
> 
> I went with this because as we've seen in the canon Gaster, Sans and Papyrus don't really look/function like traditional skeletons. This brings us to the Bone-china dolls which for the universe have a calcium carapace almost like a skin over parts or all of their body. (For example, Gaster and Sans' hands and Sans' face. They also have it on other parts of their body but that'll be shown later.)
> 
> Added to the mix that the boys are both half-Fire elemental and it confounds things a little more. Fire Elementals, like all elementals in this universe, are an element bound to and forming a semi-physical body from a protective core around their soul. As long as that core is not destroyed they can reform. Papyrus and Sans would, if they lived long enough, eventually develop their own protective cores around their souls.
> 
> Grillby is the father. The real dad.


	2. Ashes to Ashes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Magnificent Sans discovers a GREAT TRUTH. Papyrus is less than thrilled with how his brother takes it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do I do this to myself Don't read the end notes unless you want spoilers! but it clarifies basically everything! Not Beta'd. After this is Underfell.

Every day was a gift. Every second of every minute of every hour that one was alive was a beautiful thing. The world was a beautiful place. The Magnificent Sans believed so. He believed in the beauty of the world and the inherent goodness that lay in the souls of all people, monsters or humans. 

He woke to the sunrise filling his room, a soft happy sigh filling his lungs as he -- WAIT. They lived in the underground didn’t they? He inhaled quickly through his nose ridge. There wasn’t a sunrise to see, no matter how he wanted to! He sat up straight taking into account, finally that his bed was on fire. Literally the entire inside of his rocket shaped bed and his mattress and sheets were burning up. Smoke was starting to fill the room as the bedclothes burned. He let out a sharp whine before shrieking for help.

“PAPYRUS HELP!” Scarcely had the words left his mouth when his brother appeared with a sharp crack and doused the bed with a pot of still hot water. Sans flinched back but hot water didn’t exactly hurt him and it was far far better than burning to death. 

Papyrus let the pot fall from his hands, scooping Sans out by his soul and hefting the mattress up and over, checking that it was fully doused and stomping out the last embers on the pillows and the inside of the frame. Once it was done he finally lowered his brother to the damp mattress and staggered to the window to air out the smoke. he wheezed and coughed as he leaned on the sill.

“Papy? Papy are you okay?” Sans asked with worry, his voice softer than usual. 

“Yeah, s’cool bro.” he sighed. “Fuck that was too scary.”

“HEY! YOU HAFTA PUT 5G IN THE SWEAR JAR MISTER.” Sans huffed, “Scary or no, there’s no call for your bad habit of swearing!” 

“wow, Sans you know we don’t live in New Home’s New home for lost Kids anymore right? We don’t have to follow any rules but our own.” He sighed and flopped beside him on the ruined bedding. It let out a puff of ash and he wiped it off of his hands as best he could smearing blackish-grey down the front of his pajamas instead.

“I know but, you’re a Guard Sentry and I’m gonna be a royal guard someday, we have to set a better example!” He huffed and scooted a little closer to his brother. He tiredly curled against him. “I know you’re better than people like that anyway.” 

The sixteen year old made a face at his words. He didn’t want his younger brother anywhere near the royal court and would do whatever he could to keep him safe. But at the same time he didn’t want to get in the way of his brother’s happiness, he would deny him nothing if it meant he was happy in the end. He nudged his cheek against Sans’ “Nah I think I’m butter than that.”  
“Butter?” Sans asked in confusion.

“well yeah, cause I’m hanging out on your bed and it’s toast bro.” he joked. “we need to get you a new one tomorrow. If not maybe mr. Mothman can make one from reeds and down?” 

Sans groaned tiredly, “I thought honey was more your thing anyway.... sounds soft bro...”  
Within minutes the two were asleep again. 

After a few hours nap recovering from the panic and stress of the night before the boys went about their business. They went through their jobs, Sans checked the puzzles and patrolled through the woods and the glenn and the loam and the coals and the streets of new home. Papyrus guarded his various stations and talked with Nicepants as they went from one location to the next. 

He met sans on his lunch break and they were able to find a decent mattress in the Dump. They let it dry out in Hotland before bringing it to Harvey to cut down for Sans’ custom bed. The rest of the material he could use as he pleased. Once the lunch break was over and Papyrus had dropped the mattress off at home, he bid farewell to his brother and headed back to Waterfall to finish his last sentry post of the day. it was going to be a long few hours. 

Sans in the meantime headed back to Hotland, travelling with the River person who gave him a new riddle and joked with him a little before dropping him off near the shore. He waved goodbye before heading up to the elevators. He only needed the second floor and he waved hello to Tsume-eri Fire and headed in to see Tsumi’s uncle. Helios Grillby was as he usually was, darting about the outdoor Cafe and tending to his patrons with the ease and care of a man long used to throwing a delightful party. The events of the previous night were far from his mind. 

“Mr. Grillby!” Sans called out in greeting running up to hug him. The elder flame knelt and scooped up the 4′2 child with the practiced ease that came to someone who lived with small children. Hoshimi was almost six now wasn’t she? He didn’t even spill one drop of tea as he lifted sans and poured with the other hand.  
“What brings you here little one,” he grinned and sat him in one of the taller chairs, filling his cup before moving to get him some tea cakes. No charge for younglings especially not when the Paternal instincts in him still burned strongly. 

“I wanted to ask you how goes the search for your missing sons!” Sans said seriously. “The magnificent sans is on the case of course.” 

Grillby faltered for a moment, his flames flickering slightly lower before he perked up. “Not well I’m afraid. No closer today than ten years ago. No it’s eleven now. Ah my poor boys but I’ll tell you more on my break alright?”

“Mkay,” sans said before taking a bite of the tiny blueberry shortcake. No one ever needed to know he was hitting the sweets again. 

By the time Grillby returned to him the child was wired, bouncing in his seat and talking animatedly with other patrons who were charmed as ever by his youthful enthusiasm. Grillby felt a surge of pride run through him. He popped a small butane soaked cake in his mouth his flames flushing to a bright blue hue. He wasn’t feeling up to doing a full light show today but he might as well change it up a little. He sits down in the chair opposite of sans and watches him for a moment. 

Sans notices and turns back, grinning. “hiya! Back already? And you’re blue now! Clever.” 

“Indeed. Are you having fun today?” He grinned.

“Always, I love coming to Hotland and especially here!” He stated standing on his chair. “THE MAGNIFICENT SANS IS THE MASTER OF HAVING A GOOD TIME~!” 

Grillby laughed. “Never change Sans, you’re a wonderful young man.”

“OF COURSE.” he hopped back into his seat. “Speaking of, what about your sons? any progress?” 

Grillby’s smile faded. “I... some. but I wonder sometimes if I should? It’s been more than ten years Sans, I doubt they remember me and even if they did would they want to see me?”  
“I know if I had the choice, I’d want to see my parents. But I know two of them are dead. And I think they’re probably all dead. Papyrus talks like they are.” Sans sighed. “But hey, I still have him and Muffet and you, so it’s like I have a real family anyway.” 

Grillby nodded. “there’s another issue though.”  
“oh?” Sans asked.

“I would ask you keep it secret Sans, I do not mean to unduly burden you but I figure I should at least tell my best customer first.” he smiled sadly. “I am running out of time I’m afraid. I’m going to find a way to contact them and send them their savings. At least then I know they’ll be taken care of.”

“What do you mean? Are you closing up shop?” He whispered, leaning forward across the table. 

“Yes.“ Grillby closed his eyes, removing his swirly specs and rubbing one gloved hand over his eyes. he nodded. “Yes I am. I can’t do it anymore. I’m not a young spark like I was.”

“So hire some help! I can help you for free!” Sans insisted. 

“You’re a minor. Even your brother isn’t supposed to be working that kind of job yet but he found a loophole.”

“Fine then what about your brother and sister? what about Tsumi?” he whined. “Please I love it here, don’t close it down!”

Grillby sighed, his will cracking a little at Sans’ tone but he shook his head. “Tsumi is a minor too, Neither Peridante nor Althea have any interest in my mad tea parties as it is so I wouldn’t ask them.”

“Why are you closing it? Business is better than ever! You told me so,” Sans whined. He was halfway to a sugar fueled tantrum.

“I just can’t do it anymore I can’t... Sans I’m,” he put his head in his hands. “i’m very sick Sans. I’m going to fall down very soon. I want to make sure my boys are at least taken care of. That’s the price with multiple soulbonds. You’re more broken when they’re gone.” 

Sans was quiet, sitting back down in his seat with a soft. “oh.” 

Grillby looked up at him. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t going to burden you with that knowledge,”

“No. S’okay. I pushed.” he chuckled. “I know that actions have consequences. Don’t feel bad I’m a smart kid.”

“You are.” he frowned and reached out wiping the fat baby tears that were leaking down Sans’ face. “Sans, it’s going to be okay.”

“No it’s not. It’s not fair. You’re kind and you’re a good person and you don’t deserve this.” Sans blubbered and scrubbed at his eyes with his fists. 

“I’ve made peace with it Sans. I’ve been fighting this for many years.” 

“But it’s not....” he growled softly then looked up at him. “I’m gonna go find them and I’ll bring them here no matter what! and then everything will be okay!”

Grillby knew it wasn’t so but he smiled and nodded anyway. Best to keep his hopes up.  
Sans hopped from his seat and took off running. “YOU JUST WAIT, THE MAGNIFICENT SANS WILL FIX EVERYTHING!”

 

Sans had not bargained for how late it was already. When he’d reached Waterfall and gone running through on his sadness and sugar fueled sprint he caught his brother still loitering near his sentry station about to smoke. He was about to give him a piece of his mind when he stopped. 

Hidden behind some tall reeds his brother did not see him but he saw as Papyrus raised his hand to his cigarette his thumb coming to his middle finger and snapping. As he did a flame popped into existence and lit it. That in itself was not surprising Papyrus was clever too and many monsters could use fire magic, the Royal Dreemurs for example. The next part sealed it though. As he took a deep breath in, for a moment his ribs lit under his hoodie and his skull was engulfed in flames. Then he let out a breath and it all went out with a poof of smoke.  
Sans was shocked in silence. He couldn’t think.  
“Did you figure it out Smiley Trashbag? Or do I gotta spell it out for you?” a soft voice called and he felt rather than saw as Temmie pressed up against his side and sat herself down. “He’s been lying to you the whole time. The two missing sons were you and that Failed comedian you call a brother.” 

Sans was shocked so much so that he didn’t bother to correct his oft salty friend. the felonious feline stopped licking at her paw idly as she waited for a response.  
“I... I need to go.” Sans murmured turning and running back through the reeds. Papyrus looked up, startled and swore when he dropped the cigarette into the damp loam. He readied a bone attack. 

“Relax ash for brains. it’s just your kid brother, you don’t want to hurt poor Sansy now do you?” She grinned but did not reveal her hiding spot. Determined or no, she had no intention of being slaughtered by this skeleton however temporarily. 

He hesitated and looked out to where his brother burst from the reeds in the distance and headed back over the bridge. 

“after all he just learned that the two people who he values the most have been lying _Right to his FACE_.” she cackled. “Isn’t that precious?” 

“SHIT!” He growled. She took off before he could skewer her leaving him to curse out and slam his attack into empty earth. he looked back then teleported. It was time to pay a certain someone a visit. Maybe his long estranged cousin would know what to do. 

Sans was getting winded he couldn’t think, couldn’t speak.There was that feeling again, that feeling of warmth blooming in his chest. He felt a rush of adoration, suddenly realizing the magnitude of everything Grillby had said and done.  
He couldn’t be mad at him for not telling him right away, he was trying to protect him. His eyes glowed in the darkness, he didn’t bother to light the mushrooms, there just wasn’t time. The fire spread and he could see where he was going, a brilliant blue flash boiling the water and baking the earth into clay as he ran. A small child fueled by emotion and by love.  
Each step brought him closer he ducked around people coming home from work and heading out for night shifts,the elevator couldn’t nearly come fast enough so he simply summoned a bone below his feet and shot up to the second level. He pounded down twisting corridors ignoring people shouting at him in surprise or anger where he may have singed their clothing or an errant limb. He had to get there.

He stopped just short of the doorway, The cafe was closed now of course but that wouldn’t stop him! He headed in past the gate once he’d caught his breath. Grillby was still there, still straightening the tables and cleaning up the remains of the previous day. His flames had lost the rainbow of colors he put in them and Sans could see for once how dull and truly dim they were. He understood and he felt tears anew, startled by the strange feeling of them steaming away rather than running. 

Grillby who had been aware of another elemental coming in had not paused once in his work. He assumed it was probably a relative or neighbor checking in on him. He heard the crying start the soft hiccups and the whines of a child trying not to cry out. He set down the teapot and turned around. 

“what’s wro--””

“Dad! Sans cut him off coming forward and hugging him around the waist, planting his face about level with his core. “Dad I found them, it was me the whole time! Me and Paps.” 

He was shocked but hugged him back. Had Papyrus changed his mind then? He patted Sans on the head. “It’s okay sans, it’s all okay.”  
“Dad!” he sobbed. “I’m right here and you’re here! So we can be a family right?” 

“....Yes son, we can be a family again.” he promised and rubbed his back. He was not sure how long he could keep that promise but now that the metaphorical cat was out of its bag there was nothing stopping him. 

 

Across Hotland Papyrus appeared outside a normal family home and knocked on the door. He waited hearing a distant “I’m coming.” 

The door opened. “Did you forget your keys Unc--Oh Papyrus, Hey,”  
“Tsumi. We need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Swapverse we kinda did things a little more seriously in this universe branch thingy, gosh and golly we need a universe name. There is certain prejudice towards elementals in all three universes that I'll get into in another story. SPOILERS Ahead and a wall of text so watch out. 
> 
> In this one they actually had a Polyamorous family unit consisting of Gaster, Grillby and [REDACTED].
> 
> The short of it is, due to that because both brothers presented as Skeletons when one of their Parents did and Gaster vanished Grillby was not allowed to keep custody of them esp since they more or less lived at the Borders between Hotland/New Home. Papyrus was 5 at the time and kept sabotaging their efforts to adopt him and Sans out to other skeleton families. He was convinced their father was coming for them. And boy did Grillby try. 
> 
> He even appealed to Queen Toriel but she agreed with the Populus thought of the time that Elementals are not fit to raise other races' children. She ignored his pleas that he was in fact their father. There was no proof and Dr. Luna who defended him was discredited for her friendly bias. 
> 
> For years Papyrus caused a ruckus, getting into fights with other orphans and generally being a nuisance. He refused to allow anyone near him and Sans but slowly his hp and his optimism dwindled. it had been years after all. 
> 
> Eventually the two were relocated because during one of Queen Toriel's visits to read to the orphans he overheard the monsters in charge saying they were going to adopt Sans out without him and send him to a foster home so they didn't have to deal with him anymore. He summoned his blasters for the first time and dropped a wall on them. 
> 
> Toriel recognizing both his potential and his danger to others called in a favor from a certain old friend and had them sent to Snowdin. They lived together in the house with Muffet's help. 
> 
> Grillby was never informed in any way that the boys had been moved or were even still alive. He was just trying to find them for years and years and years.


	3. The Adventures of Beefcake McPayyertab and Ol' Salty Season 3 episode 4 ACE DICKLE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the Edgiest universe, a certain scientist struggles with managing the simple. His sons profit from his feud with local sleazy bar owner on public television.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Character death mentioned. Things are not as they appear.

Gaster wakes up on the couch with a splitting headache, aching bones and the taste of chemicals in his mouth. He stretched upwards, his bones cracking and popping as he did and his tail clicking and swaying. He flopped back on the cushion and reached around to try and find his glasses. Gone. Probably either at the lab or in the Palace. He sat up and shuffled into the kitchen. He dug in the fridge for something edible. Not finding anything between Papyrus’ failed attempts at cooking and Sans’ science experiments, he decided to just fry up some popatoes.  
He dug out a dusty cast iron pan from under the counter. He wasn’t going to try to fight something better from the living trash heap that was the sink. “God dammit Harold, go home….” He was not going near that without his blasters and they weren’t going to cooperate without food. He set up the stove and tried to light the gas. He flickered the switch back and forth. When nothing happened he slammed the pan through the wall.  
“Lousy piece of shit…” He grumbled and tugged the pan from the wall.  
“Wow, the royal scientist can’t work a fucking stove,” Papyrus called snidely from behind him.  
“Do you want to eat or are you just going to bitch your face right off, son?” Gaster mused, his tail flicking back and forth and scratching up the floor in agitation.  
“You know the answer to that, dad,” Sans chuckled as he made his way over to the fridge, removed something questionable, doused it in mustard and began to eat it. “So what’s up?”  
“Listen, I paid the fucking gas bill, I bet it’s that good for nothing Aurorus Chillby. I’m going to kick his ass.” He snarled. “I bet he wrecked the pipes again, fucked it right up!”  
He stomped around cursing and fuming. Sans grinned and watched him throw his fit, he quickly texted his manager to warm up the cameras. “So are we going down to confront him or are we just gonna stand around here?”  
Predictably his father stopped his pacing, clenching his hands, gnashing his fangs and swiping his tail the very picture of pent up energy. “I’m gonna show that overgrown shadow what for.” He stomped over to the door, grabbing his coat and his boots, barely having pulled them on before he went out to set off towards the bar.  
“You tell him dad,” Papyrus muttered. He sighed. “We have to follow him before he does something stupid.”  
“Ah ah ah, why do we gotta?” Sans grinned and pointed over his shoulder where Edgypants was waiting with the camera.  
Papyrus yanked his pajamas off revealing his uniform beneath and donned his hat from where it hung inside the door. He jumped out of the doorway and posed beside Sans. “Because, Beefcake. We’re REAL COPS.”  
Roll opening credits while they headed over. Sans began to narrate. “Alright we got calls of a disturbance in progress at Chillby’z Bar and Nightclub. Apparently old Imnotinvolved Johnson is at it again, it’s not even 9 am and he’s plastered.”  
“Sad. What is this altercation about Beefcake?” Papyrus commented as they stopped outside the doors.  
“Well you see, Ol’ Salty, Johnson seems to believe the owner and proprietor, Aurorus Chillby, is sabotaging his home.” Beefcake cackled. “He’s come to confront him.”  
“He probably is.” Salty shrugged. “I mean he’s done worse, remember that time we were called because he was trying to eat Temmie?”  
“We shoulda let her die, Salty. Now she’s the biggest Drug lord this side of Waterfall. Donna Muffet ain’t gonna be pleased.” Beefcake shook his head.  
“Who gives a shit what she thinks? We’re cops! Real Cops!” He stamped his foot. Beefcake cracked open the door and the din of the bar filtered outside people hooting and cheering. “Well it looks like the brawl is in full swing. I think I hear ‘You’re gonna have a Bad time playing.”  
“I thought Johnson uses Megalovania like you.” Salty raised a brow.  
“Not on a syndicated network when that song is privately copyrighted he doesn’t,” Mettaton called from the distance.  
“Ugh, whatever let’s just get this over with.” Salty said, narrowly ducking as a chair with a patron still on it came sailing through the open door and over his head. “Well we’re missing a brawl,” he said before ducking in.  
The inside of Chillby’s was dark lit, mostly black lights and some wall sconces during the day and strobes at night. The inside was dark, dusty and always a bit damp. It was exceedingly uncomfortable. The floors were tiled over the original hardwood and were always slick with some mix of fluids and dust. The bar top was sticky, often covered in spilled alcohol. The furniture was constantly changing, replacing the damaged ones with the same crisp, steely, modern style cold and informal as Chillby was. They were the only clean and non sticky surfaces in the place. Chillby was not as fastidious as the previous owner Grillby had been.  
The food was cheap, greasy fare that was as overpriced as the watery, pathetic chemical brew that dared to pretend it was alcohol. Temmie may have been the great Drug lord now but Donna Muffet was the queen of Trade and secrets, and never again would she share the rights to good booze as she once had with Grillby. He’d been her only business partner and now she jealously and greedily kept those profits to herself. After all the only ones who could brew decent alcohol besides her sources were Gaster and Alphys and they were on the Royal payroll, so it’s not as if Chillby could afford them even if Gaster didn’t tell him to kindly shove his head up his own ass every time they met.  
Speaking of the two, Chillby was menacing him with a bat full of nails and Gaster was swiping at his throat with a broken vodka bottle. Neither was serious today it seemed or else the body count would have already started piling up. The two rarely brawled without others getting caught in the crossfire.  
“You’re so slow today, harlot,” Chillby laughed and struck out at him, Gaster barely managing to move back in time. He ducked the second swipe hearing as it cracked into the monster who had been behind him. “What? Weren’t they gentle with you? You’re limping, Icarus.”  
Gaster let out an inarticulate sound of rage, threw his bottle in Chillby’s face, surprising him but not hurting the Darkness elemental any. It was just a distraction after all.  
“Ha! You missed!” He taunted but was cut off as about 60 lbs of skeleton slamming into his middle in a tackle.  
Gaster knocked him to the ground and pinned him with a hand on his throat-- and his legs on either side of Chillby’s hips. “I’m going to fucking kill you.”  
“That’ll be the day, you don’t have the balls to do it. Well you don’t have any balls at all, being a skeleton-thing.” Chillby cackled. “What’s it now? You’ve experimented on yourself so much you’re a proper mutt. 10% skeleton, 10 % malibu barbie and 80% bitch?”  
Gaster’s tail flicked downward, enraged, and shattered the tiles between Chillby’s legs. “How’s about I shut that smartass mouth for you since you don’t seem to remember how to?”  
“This is where we gotta step in, before he does something he regrets,” Beefcake said, looking into the camera, “Besides, you know, waking up.”  
“SNOWDIN PD! NOBODY MOVE!” Salty shouted and held a poorly constructed cardboard badge with a picture of Doggo drawn on it. No one moved. Behind him Sans lifted the real Snowdin Royal Sentry Guard badge, Silver with the image of a wolf holding an axe. A horse in shades slammed a shot glass onto the floor and screamed, “SCATTER!”  
“That’s going on your tab, Beefcake!” Chillby shrieked and Gaster curled over him in an attempt to be smaller as the crowd, suddenly energized, broke off and stampeded in all directions. Beefcake and Salty held their ground, even managing to tackle and cuff a few customers for nothing more than camera service before approaching where the two were. Gaster was still curled over Chillby and holding him down by the barest of margins. Chillby for his part looked pissed and was struggling to shake the skeleton off.  
“You bastards are going to pay for all this damage!” He snarled and Gaster had to yank him up a few inches by his throat and slam him back down. It didn’t work, if anything it merely enraged him further as he got an arm free, grabbed Gaster and rolled them over so he was on top. “First rule, cher, if you’re gonna make death threats, don’t follow up with a murder attempt.”  
He put both his hands around Gaster’s spine at his throat.  
“You do know I don’t need air, right Jackass?” he growled out. Not strictly true but suffocation wasn’t exactly a worry. Chillby only tightened his grip making him see stars.  
“No but you need a spine to walk! Ya gonna talk so big when you’re just a head!?”  
Finally at this climactic moment Salty and Beefcake stepped in. With one on either side they were finally able to pull him off their father, more or less. They yanked him back a few feet and restrained him. “Alright that’s enough Chillby, we’ve got plenty to take you in on, racketeering, rum running and a whole lotta murder. Let us take Johnson quietly.”  
Chillby cackled at this. “Oh sure, sure, let’s just take care of one thing first.”  
Beef started sweating as Chilby shook his head, broke his arms free and then pointed at him dramatically. “PAY YOUR FUCKING TAB BEEFCAKE!”  
“No! Never! I won’t! I can’t!” He said dramatically as Salty dragged their still dazed father out the back door. “I can’t, because when I do, we won’t have anything to fight over anymore.”  
“Oh you can be sure there’s plenty to--hey, where did that brat go with your miserable bitch-father?” He growled looking for his prey and finding none. With that Sans teleported away and Edgypants snuck away from the bar, still close enough to hear the noise of frustration Chillby made at losing his prey twice. 

Back at home Salty had deposited Johnson on the couch. Or rather, since the cameras no longer rolled, Papyrus deposited Gaster and waited, not long, for Sans to reappear. “Not bad for a first take. We got plenty for filler episodes too.” He sidled over and looked at their father who was blankly staring at the ceiling.  
“You okay pops?” He asked cautiously.  
“I still couldn’t fucking do it, I’ll never be able to get my revenge because I still can’t kill him,” He murmured, sounding shellshocked.  
“Don’t sweat it dad.” Papyrus snorted. “Neither can sans.”  
“Hey how’s about you shut up boss?” Sans’ grin was forced.  
“What was that?” Papyrus snarled.  
“Stop fighting.” Gaster interrupted his tail lashing against the cushions. “We’ll just have to deal.”  
“Well then in the meantime I’ll make us burgers,” Sans grinned and disappeared into the kitchen. Gaster made a face.  
“There is still no gas, I don’t know how you expect to cook the meat.”  
“Relaaaaax, I got this, come on Salty,” he chuckled and went to the kitchen stripping off his jacket and uniform shirt laying on the floor as Papyrus started to lay frozen parties over his ribs and carapace.  
“What bizarre shtick are you pulling now?’ Gaster groaned as he watched.  
“Be patient, pops,” Sans grinned as Papyrus brushed them with some kind of sauce, season and tequila.  
“Alright. Light it up beef.” Papyrus ordered, stepping back and crossing his arms.  
“You got it, boss.” Beef grinned, waiting until he was out of reach before sucking in a deep breath and erupting into a torrent of blue flame.  
“Flipping stars!” Gaster exclaimed, jolting upright and clambering over the back of the couch. He had to reach his son. He had to douse the flames before they consumed him! 

Except sans was fine. If anything he was lazily flexing to try and move a party over that was in danger of falling. Gaster's mouth opened and closed in confusion a few times before looking to Papyrus for clarification.  
“We figured it out during the time you were…. When you were gone,” he coughed into his fist. “Well. It's a useful skill, glad dad left us that much,”  
Gaster swallowed and nodded slowly. “Of course. He was a good man. A strong monster. He'd… be proud of you two. I'm going to try and clear the sink.”  
He crossed past his son feeling the heat roll up against his fingers. He summoned his blaster to clear the ooze from the sink before filling it with hot water and soap. The sound of the blaster chasing the mooching slime faded into the distance. He focused on making sure each dish and bowl got the right number of scrubs and the right attention to get rid of any mold or bacteria. Really he ought to be home more, it was clear his boys were being neglected. He went to put a dish in the drainer only to find Papyrus taking it and drying it, his hands ungloved and so like Gaster's own. He smiled faintly and patted his shoulder receiving a disgruntled noise at being patted with dirty dishwater.  
There was still so much to do, but for the moment he could just spend the moment with his boys and pretend it was all fine.  
Tomorrow he'd have to return to the lab and who knew what after that. Today he could pretend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this and the previous chapter labelled Underfell and Underswap respectively. But recently it's come to my attention the creator revoked rights to Underfell, this being due to them being a minor and asking people not use underfell for nsfw content as that would have legal ramifications. We all know how that went, so they pulled it and password locked it. 
> 
> -\\_('_')_/- it is what it is. I'm gonna be tagging the dark/bizarro universe stuff as Edgeverse from now on. It had enough differences from the original Underfell that I feel confident in doing so. I heard Underswap went under for similar reasons, but I have yet to verify that. If anyone knows, feel free to leave it in the comments.


End file.
